It’s 1:30 in the AM and it was too hot to go outside to a bar (95 degrees at 9 PM) so we stayed in. Everyone went to sleep, but I felt like watching some hockey in the heat of summer, so I threw in DVD 10 of the first Pittsburgh Penguins Greatest Games. Penguins vs. Flyers December 13, 2006.
I’ve often been accused of being long-winded, but I’ll attempt to live blog it in a succint fashion.
20:00- Oh shit, the Pens first pairing on defense is Sergei Gonchar- Josef Melichar. I love you more and more Ray Shero. Sidney Crosby starts the game with Mark Recchi and Ryan Malone on his wings.
19:06- As of this moment in time, Michel Therrien’s record as Penguins head coach is 27-40-13. Oof.
18:35- Rookie Jordan Staal is playing 3rd line left wing with Dominic Moore (center) and Michel Ouellet tonight. Double oof.
17:45- Rookie Evgeni Malkin is centering Erik Christensen and Colby Armstrong on the second line for the start of this game.
15:54 Jarkko Ruutu makes a nice drop pass and interferes with the defenseman and Chris Thorburn snipes a beauty of a shot past Philly goalie Antero Nittymaki. (Max Talbot is the center of this fourth line).
“THE PITTSBURGH GOAL, HIS FIRST OF THE SEASON, SCORED BY NUMBER 22 CHRIS THORBURN!” Miss you John Barbero. (RIP).
The first thing that you notice about Kevin Smith as he walks on stage is that he’s high. Well, you notice it because it’s the first thing he tells you.
The second thing is that he’s vulgar as sin. But, if you’re amongst the 6,000 or so fans cramped into Hall H at the San Diego Comic-Con International, you should know that already.
Outside of Smith gushing over his latest film “Red State,” crudely fawning over his wife, and dropping pop culture references non-stop, the one thing that really stood out to me was Smith’s ability as an effective, non-traditional storyteller.
Let me explain.
In the middle of summer, like every year, I start to look forward to the latest NCAA football offering from EA Sports.
This year’s new twist in gameplay allows players to set up conferences how they want. You can make a super-group as much as 16 teams (like the PAC-”10″ attempted to do) and set-up divisions as you wish. Seems pretty cool.
I came across a great conference setup from Kotaku, and below I borrowed heavily from it. (Borrowing is what we call copy and pasting in the blog world). But I did make a few changes for my own benefit. Without further a due, here’s how I’ve set my college football world up-
I’m usually not big on just posting quotes derrived from someone else’s work… but this will make twice that I’ve done it today. Here’s the first.
This is the second, stolen solely from Drew Magary‘s wonderful “Everyday Badasses” feature for Penthouse. Wonderful not only because it’s hilarious, but also because he does such a fantastic job of plucking tangible, random events from life that are easy to relate to and remind you of why they are so damn fantastic.
I’ll steal three of my favorites, in hopes of enticing you to read the remainder of the piece at the obviously NSFW Penthouse website.
Example No. 1
The Stranger Next to You at the Bar or Game Who Willingly Accepts Your High Ten After Something Cool Happens
Holy shit! Your team just scored on a 95-yard kickoff return! You gotta high ten every motherfucker within a six-foot radius! Your friends! The hot-dog guy! And the random dude next to you, who doesn’t know you but knows exactly how you feel at this moment and reciprocates your turned-up palms without any (a) hesitation, (b) social awkwardness, or (c) inaccuracy. It’s a fantastic moment, which is why I spend most of my time drinking in bars and rooting for teams I don’t actually like. I just want to be accepted
Example No. 2
The Blackjack Dealer Who’s Legitimately Rooting for You to Win Money
Everyone who plays blackjack happens upon the occasional perfect dealer. He’s jovial. He’s lively. He busts all the fucking time, and seems genuinely pleased that you’re winning and enjoying yourself. His brilliant social skills make him clearly overqualified for his post. Within ten minutes at his table, you want to invite the guy to your wedding. And then, in a flash, your new best friend Kenny is gone, replaced by a hollow-eyed 50-year-old with one leg who may or may not have had his tongue cut out. And Kenny is sent back down into the basement, only to come out once every month to tease you with the idea that every blackjack dealer should be so pleasant
Example No. 3
The Bartender Who Buys You a Free Round Every Three or Four Beers
I don’t know when buybacks became such an endangered species in the drinking world, but I doff my cap to any bartender out there who still recognizes that a customer who throws down for three beers and tips a buck each time deserves a free High Life the next go-round. And bonus points to that bartender if he passes off your round count to the next bartender working a later shift
Read the rest of the piece, and realize that you have interacted with each and every one of these badasses at some point in your life and it’s a shame that you don’t interact with them more frequently.
Me in a Tuxedo? Bad. Ass.
Real Salt Lake’s 3-3 draw against the New England Revolution on the Fourth of July quickly hit meta-status because of a bevy of questionable-to-downright awful calls made by referee Yader Reyes.
Atop the list was an absurd penalty kick he awarded to New England for a phantom foul from Nat Borchers that resulted in the Real Salt Lake defender being red carded in the third minute. In the THIRD minute.
Absurd. Another penalty, another red card (each on separate plays) and six frickin’ yellow cards would follow during a game that wasn’t particularly dirty nor physical. Just chippy, but that was a direct result of the calls.
Essentially, Salt Lake was down a man for the entire first half and a good portion of the second before finishing the game even at 10-men a piece.
How did they respond?
By absolutely bossing possession.